Sunday, September 02, 2012

"Thirty and Two" or, How not to develop a blog post...

I wrote a short story about Morris back in June while Margie was fussing with the final preparations for "In Another Life." Things got a little hectic around here- Margie went to Oregon to babysit two whiny boxers- (allegedly. Baccus, one of the boxers, complained, "She starved us! She never  pet us or took us for a walk."  Judging from their girth and drool, they received the best care). Somewhere along the line United Airlines lost her luggage and then found it. Oh, the joys of traveling.

Then we published the book, Margie spent time at Powell's Bookstore having copies made on their "Espresso Print on Demand" system- I posted about that back in June. We also arranged for hard copies through and we've been working on marketing the book.

Needless to say, the story found itself in limbo.

The other day, I had an idea about a free short story give away with a sample of "In Another Life" inside and I remembered I had the Morris piece. I dug the file out of DellHell and did a little editing. I mentioned to Margie that I had a short story ready to be published.

Margie, in the middle of the annual school clothes debacle with Miranda and Sunshine, tossed three potted plants at me- apparently, formatting for ebooks is time-consuming and similar to removing hemorrhoids with a shovel- eventually, we sat down and produced a workable file.

Thinking I was free and clear, I proceeded to the next logical step- a bottle opener in hand, the beer crisper was officially opened for business- And as quickly shut down. Margie bellowed, "Cover art?"

Crap. Thus, I found myself at the local donut shop, cover artist extraordinaire in tow. I knew what I wanted but Morris likes crullers so I dispensed with the white cream-filled and got a regular donut. Of course you can't just get an empty small coffee cup- they charge you full price as though you're getting a full cup -o- joe.

Donut, coffee for me and empty prop cup in hand, I marched over to the counter, spread out napkins, took a bite out of the donut- the things I do for my art- dumped a couple of drops of coffee on the napkin and ta-daa, instant cover art.

Ten minutes later, twenty adjustments and some harried threats from the artist, we had cover art.

Back at the ranch, I had my hand on the beer crisper. "Uhemmm!" Margie intoned. "Description?"

Crap. Tap tap tap. Damn Windows. Restart computer. E-mail description.

Back at beer crisper. Hover..... Reach into beer crisp...."Uhemmm. Title?"

Crap. Twenty minutes and twelve titles- Morris' Short Story wasn't even allowed to be considered- we had "Thirty and two."

I didn't even go near the beer crisper. I waited. "Ok. It published."

Yea! Beer crisper time! "Uhemmm.... Marketing?"

Crap. And that's how you got to read this blog post!

Get your copy of "Thirty and Two" absolutely free at:

1 comment:

  1. I will never stop laughing at "hemorrhoids with a shovel."


    (So, so true)